Drunk Cake
Summary Thomas and Molly prepare for Simon's 28th birthday party, as they also prepare for their first time together. Chad and Alice start to get intimate with each other. Emma and Kitty sneak out for a night on the town. The Following Program is rated TV-MA LS, it contains Strong Language and Sexual Situations, and is intended for Mature Audiences. Characters *Simon *Thomas *Molly *Alice *Michael *Emma *Chad *Kitty *Red *Blue *Pink *Stacy *Crystal (Underage Girl) Transcript 8:30 PM On a Monday (Opens in Alice's kitchen with Molly using an eggbeater in a bowl of cake batter, with Thomas watching next to her) Thomas: So what we call this anyway? Molly: Drunk cake, I figure since Simon's birthday is tomorrow, we make a cake with everything a drunk person uses. Thomas: Using missing one thing though. (Thomas pours half a bottle of vodka in the cake batter bowl) Molly: The one thing I was missing, alcohol. Thomas: Missing? What did you put in here? Molly: Just the typical ingredients for cake, but now it's drunk cake since alcohol is now in this. (Cuts to Alice and Chad arriving at the front door of her apartment) Alice: I'm just saying, if we went down to those catacombs, we would be just fine Chad: Yeah, well we would be more believable than those actors. (Alice lightly giggles as the two start to kiss each other for a few seconds) Alice: So this was fun, I'll see you tomorrow night for dinner at my place. Chad: Okay, I'll be ready. Alice: You better be. (In her head) Oh boy, our third day. (Chad walks out of the hallway as Alice walks through the front door of her apartment and into her kitchen where Thomas and Molly are in) Molly: So how was your date? Alice: Very lovely, it's been our second date since Thursday night when we went out to dinner. Thomas: I'm guessing you're over Simon then. Alice: (Sighs) Oh right, him. Molly: This morning he came in late and smelled like he drank a whole mini bar the night before Alice: What is he trying to do now? Make me jealous? Thomas: He's doing this because he wants to squeeze as much fun as he can before he turns thirty in a few years. Molly: That's why we're making him a birthday cake, which I call Drunk Cake. Thomas: The only difference is that we poured nearly a whole... (Alice walks up and spits in the bowl of cake batter) And now I'm not going to eat cake tomorrow. Alice: It is Simon's cake so I think it would be fair for me to give him my birthday present. Molly: Anyways now that the cake is officially ruined, tell us more about Chad. Alice: Well, he's twenty seven, works as a music agent, and is a huge Lakers fan, since he always likes to wear the team's baseball cap. Thomas: So you have another date with him, tomorrow night? Alice: Yeah, I know Simon's birthday is tomorrow, so it's going to be after the party, and we'll come back here for our own personal, after party if you know what I mean. Molly: You mean sex? Alice: (Sarcastic) No I mean a Mexican party, yes I mean sex. Molly: Alright, but do they really have Mexican parties? Thomas: (Slightly confused face towards Molly) I think it would be the same as a regular party. Alice: But back to my point, it's going to be our third date and that's usually the moment where, you know, sex pops up into the question. Molly: Really? I never heard of that rule. Alice: Thomas would know, I mean, all you two did this summer was hang out and practically date. Thomas: Uh, well, we actually... Molly: (Interrupts) We haven't had sex yet. Alice: Why? Is it awkward for you two? Thomas: We just haven't thought of it, it never came into question of whether or not we should do it or not. Molly: I mean, we're known each other for a while, kinda of like how it was for you and Simon. Alice: I guess you can say that, only before we actually dated, we fucked each other many times. Molly: (To Alice) So know your going back into what dating is actually like? Alice: Exactly! Shit, I got to go find a slutty dress to wear for tomorrow night, (Alice runs into her room as it cuts to the next morning where Thomas, Molly, and Alice are in a diner in a booth) Molly: Where are they? It's Simon's birthday breakfast and we would all meet here. Thomas: Michael told me he and Simon are running a little late, since Simon has a massive hangover and Michael hardly slept since he was on the phone all night with his mom. Alice: So wait, Stacy may actually be his sister? Thomas: Maybe, but he can hardly get any information from his mom since she's a hippie drug head who literally smokes a blunt at the best possible moment and... (Alice and Molly look at Thomas with a strange look) that's just what he said over the phone. (Simon and Michael arrive and sit in the booth with the others) Simon: Ugh! Last night was crazy, too bad Labor Day is once a year. Thomas: (To Simon) And to you, that's every day. Michael: Besides Simon's drunk night going to multiple bars, I was busy spending Labor Day in a pot farm with my mom. Alice: Why was she in a pot farm? Michael: She was having a mind trip after some raver gave her some LSD. Molly: So wait, how old is your mom? Michael: She turns fifty next month and she acts more like my age than I do. Simon: Like remember the time I came over to your place, and your mom showed up and had an orgy with a bunch of random strangers? Michael: Those weren't strangers, they were clients. Alice: Then your mom works as a hooker? Michael: No, I mean her clients for when she sells weed, that what she does when they don't pay her. Molly: Wow, your mom is an entrepreneur, only for drugs and sex. Thomas: So what about your sisters Stacy and Tracy? Michael: They don't know, and I don't know if I'll ever tell them. Alice: You are gonna have to eventually, or else you know who will. Michael: Wait, why would my mom tell them, they don't even know that she's they're real mom. Alice: Because maybe this is part of some new thing she's doing where she confesses many things that happened in past. Michael: You do make a good point there, but right now let's take a break from my family issues... Simon: (Interrupts) Great, cause we all know today is my birthday! (Points to himself) Everyone: (Slowly) Yay. Simon: Come on guys, tonight is gonna rock, plus I know you'll be planning something for me. Thomas: How do you know? Maybe one of us forgot. Simon: Like I give a shit. (Pulls out a canteen and pours it in his coffee cup) Alice: Is that really alcohol? Molly: At nine in the morning? Simon: Fuck you two, I turn twenty eight today, in two years everyone I know will be married or pregnant from not using the pill. (Drinks his coffee with alcohol in it) Michael: Alright, so let's just eat. Alice: Okay. (Everyone is looking at a menu, as a few seconds later it cuts to everyone eating a different breakfast meal) Simon: (To Alice) So Ali, I hear your sucking a new dick. Alice: (Slightly annoyed) If you want to put it that way, I'm dating a new guy. Michael: Is it that guy Chad, from the night you got lost in the city back in May? Alice: Yep, we're going on a third date after.... (Coughs) we go to a company party of his. Simon: Bullshit! There's no company party. Alice: Oh I'm sorry, I thought you didn't believe that I was dating. Simon: Who cares about dating right now, what happened to the good old days when we did some stupid shit. Molly: Maybe we all will. Simon: Whatever. (Continues to eat) Thomas: Usually at a moment like this, Emma would say something to cut us o... (Suddenly cuts to Emma in the rehab house sitting on a couch outside by the poolside) Emma: So what does swimming have to do with rehab. (Kitty walks past Emma and heads toward the pool) Kitty: Mainly for athletics. (Jumps into the pool and pops back onto the surface) Emma: Cool, so today is my older brother's birthday, and I'm stuck here. Kitty: Look, I know we're not allowed to do this, but do you want to sneak out to the city? Emma: Wow, and now you decide to bring it up? Kitty: Is that a yes? Emma: Yeah of course, maybe I'll run into my friends. Kitty: Okay, Once the sun goes down I'll call a cab and we'll go out and make it back it before dawn. Emma: Awesome, sounds like a plan. (Cuts back to Ball Busters where Simon is taking a nap in his office chair as Molly locks the door from the hallway) Molly: (To Thomas) Okay, we're all good. Thomas: Nice, let's set up the decorations. Molly: Shit, I forgot what decorations we should get. Thomas: It's Simon, what do you think? (Cuts to Michael approaching them with bags) Michael: I'm back, I got empty vodka bottles, thongs, sunglasses, and condoms. Molly: I'm sorry, did you say Condoms? Thomas: I hope it's not what you think it is? (Michael pulls out a condom, unwraps it, and blows into it making it a condom balloon) Molly: (Realizes) Oh, I see. Michael: Yeah, Simon's favorite balloon, not including STD's. Thomas: Cool, well the cake Molly and I made is ready, and at your request, it's drunk chocolate cake. Michael: Is it drunk as in... Molly: Yes, we poured half a bottle of vodka in the bowl of mix. Michael: Great, now we got the decorations, the cake, and, well, more than enough alcohol, for the party. Thomas: Now we need a good party album. Michael: (To Thomas) Dude, I'm a DJ for fucks sake, I got the music taken care of. Molly: And we also need guests. Thomas: We know Alice and her boyfriend Chad will be here, plus we'll invite Red, Blue, Pink, Stacy, and... Michael: Wait, we're still inviting Stacy? Molly: Wait, isn't Pink pregnant? Michael: No, wait, oh Pink. Thomas: She posted photos of her pregnant belly on Facester, she and Blue should be having a new baby next month before Thanksgiving. Michael: But back to Stacy, I guess we'll have to invite her since now she is my sister, even though I haven't told her. Molly: When will you? (To Thomas) And I didn't know Pink was pregnant. Thomas: Molly, you asked if Pink is pregnant. Molly: Well usually, after a couple months of being married, a child would pop into the question. Thomas: Well they did get married back in January and announced the pregnancy in February so it was pretty... Michael: (Interrupts) Guys, back to the main issue. Molly: Right, we need to get gifts. Michael: (Faceplams) Not what I was referring to, but alright. (Cuts to Emma picking out a dress in her room at the rehab house while only in her bra and panties) Emma: What should I wear? I mean, I wouldn't mind getting some while out on the town. Kitty: (Bursts through the door) Ready to... (Covers her eyes from Emma) Sorry, I didn't know you were still changing. Emma: It's fine. (Puts on a red dress with a good amount of cleavage) You can open your eyes now. Kitty: (Shows her eyes) Nice choice, looking to score tonight? Emma: Maybe, anyways when should the cab be here? Kitty: In about fifteen minutes. Emma: Great, maybe we can stop by Ball Busters. Kitty: You mean that nightclub downtown? Emma: Yeah, my brother works there, how did you know about it. Kitty: Word of mouth, some friends of mine told me about that place. Emma: Okay, well they do like the free publicity. (Cuts to Ball Busters as several people are inside, including Red, Blue, Pink, and Stacy are some of the random people, with Condom balloons floating in the air, empty beer bottles on the bar counter, and thongs hanging on the doorknob) Molly: (Rubbing Pink's pregnant stomach) Wow, eight months? Pink: It is, me and Blue are uncertain what the baby's name should be, though a little blue girl gave us some suggestion when we were on some scavenger hunt on a ship. Molly: Well then, good luck with that. (Walks away) (Cuts to Thomas and Michael at the bar) Michael: (To Thomas) Well Stacy is here, and it's pretty obvious that's she's trying to stop the binge drinking. (Shows Stacy in a booth with Red and various women as she's drinks some beer and spits it back into her beer bottle) Thomas: So when are you going to tell her? Michael: I don't know, how she is right now, adding the whole thing about how I may be her brother will just ruin her. Thomas: You are going to have to tell her pretty soon, I mean, she's on the verge of getting a divorce. Michael: Can we stop this right now, besides, what about you and Molly? Thomas: What about us? Michael: Dude, we all know you two are dating, but what about, you know? Thomas: (Sighs) Seriously, you want to know if we had sex yet? Michael: You all want to know about my family so badly, so why can't I know about your sex life? (Alice and Chad arrive and approach Thomas and Michael at the bar) Alice: Hey guys, this is my boyfriend Chad. Chad: (To Thomas and Michael) What's up. (Thomas and Michael each shake their hands with Chad) Chad: So what were you two talking about? Michael: (Points to Thomas) Tommy boy and his former lesbian girlfriend Molly. Chad: Wait, she was a lesbian? Alice: Long story, (To Thomas) but what is going with you and Mol? Thomas: Okay, since you all want to know so badly, we haven't done it yet, it's just awkward for us since I'll be her first time with a man. Michael: Oh come on, quit being a pussy and get it on, come on, you had sex before right? Thomas: Well... Alice: Oh, so Molly wasn't the only virgin then. Thomas: No, it's just that my first time was a drunk encounter, I already remember anything, so I wouldn't really know what to do. Michael: Wasn't it with that Blue Ponytail girl from Mol's birthday a couple months ago? Thomas: Actually it was a senior party I had back in high school. Michael: Then you had sex with the blue girl, you should at best, be mediocre at sex, and I'm sure Molly won't mind since all she's done this summer was eat Veronica's pussy. Thomas: I hate to say it Mike, but you may be right, though I'm not sure if Molly is ready for me. Alice: It doesn't hurt to try. Thomas: (Sighs) Alright, I'm gonna do it. Michael: Nice! (To Thomas) Good luck man. Thomas: Thanks. (Walks off into the crowd and taps on Molly's shoulder and starts making out with her) Chad: (To Alice) So that's what your friends are usually like? Alice: (To Chad) For the most part. Michael: (Looks on his cellphone) Oh shit! (To Everyone) Hey Everybody, get down! Turn off the lights! Simon is outside! (A random person turns off the lights and everyone ducks down, as they hear Simon outside laughing with another woman) Simon: (Muffled from outside) So baby, was I lying when I said that I owned a nightclub. Woman: (Muffled from outside) Well then, (Giggles) looks like there will be many places to fuck in there. Simon: (Muffled from outside) I'm sure that won't be bullshit. (Simon opens the door with a light purple woman with a ponytail and he turns on the light as everyone gets up) Everyone: Surprised! (They see Simon surprised as he was already taking off the light purple woman's shirt and she is shown in a bra as she is also surprised, it then shows everyone else wide eyed and slightly surprised at them) Simon: (Slowly) Hello everyone, this is Crystal. (Points to the light purple girl next to him) Crystal: (To Simon) Hey, as much as I would love to suck your dick, my parents may be home wondering where I am. (Michael mouths "What the fuck?") Simon: (Confused) Wait? How old are you? Crystal: Oh don't worry, I'm eighteen, and I start College next week. Simon: (Puts his arm around Crystal) Alright, here's ten bucks, (Gives Crystal a ten dollar) Crystal: But I'm not a hooker. Simon: (Faceplams) No, it's bus money to get you home. Crystal: Okay, I'll see you around. (Kisses Simon on the cheek and skips away out the door, as the party resumes back to normal and the music goes back on) Alice: (To Chad) And that's my friend Simon that I told you about. Chad: Does he normally do this? Alice: Well now he's doing it again. Simon: (Approaches Alice and Chad) Ah ha! So you guys did plan a party, I knew it! Alice: (To Simon) And you planned to surprise us by performing a live sex act with an eighteen year old? Simon: Well, I didn't plan everything through. Alice: So Simon, (Points to Chad) this is my boyfriend Chad. Chad: (Hand shakes Simon) I heard many things about you. Simon: (Lightly laughs) Oh yeah, me and Alice are just great, (Lightly punches Alice's shoulder) friends. Alice: (Slightly annoyed and laughing) Yep, we sure do. Chad: Okay, sorry to break up this game you two have, but me and Alice have a dinner to get to. Alice: Yeah, we sure do, so happy birthday Simon. (Starts walking out with Chad) Simon: Thanks, and I hope the sex is better than with me. Chad: Wait, what? Alice: He just wants dinner to be good that's all. (Walks out of Ball Busters holding hands with Chad quickly as Michael approached Simon) Michael: (To Simon) Hey Simon! Did we surprise you good? Simon: Kinda of, but I'm sure my surprise to you all was just as good. Michael: Whatever dude, happy birthday. (Simon and Michael hug for a second) We got plenty of alcohol, and cake too. (Shows the Drunk Cake baked as it is Chocolate cake with white frosting and brown frosting on it to look like a beer bottle, as Pink has cut herself a slice and is taking a bite) Michael: Oh Pink, that cake is loaded with alcohol. Pink: (Spits out the cake and puts her plate of cake on the table) And you could of told me that before? I'm fucking hungry and I have a living person in my fucking belly! (Walks away) Simon: Pink is pregnant? Michael: Yeah, eight months. Simon: Wow, everyone is growing up and everything. (Looks at two women passing by him) And I ain't ready for that fucking bullshit. (Gets a beer bottle from the bar counter and drinks from it, only to discover it's empty) Mike, where are the fucking bottles!? Michael: Oh yeah, we decorated the bar counter with empty bottles. Simon: Does it look like I give a shit!? I just want a fucking bottle of beer! (Michael hands Simon a bottle of beer as he opens it and drinks from it as he walks into the crowd of people, as it cuts to Emma and Kitty riding the city bus) Emma: So Kitty, do you have any plans for the night out in LA? Kitty: I don't know, maybe we hit up some clubs or something. Emma: Well, we can go to Ball Busters, my friends should... Kitty: (Interrupts) No, not yet. Emma: (Confused) What? Kitty: Nothing, it's just that I don't want to meet your friends yet. Emma: Why not? Kitty: You know what, let's change the conversation. Emma: Waif, why do you... Kitty: (Interrupts) Do you want to go eat somewhere? Like Taco Bell or Wendy's? Emma: (Confused) Uh, yeah sure, I can eat. (Cuts to Emma and Kitty sitting in a booth eating burgers at McArnold's) Emma: (After chewing on a cheeseburger) I remember running over here in the middle of the night and I got like an ass load of burgers here, especially if it was on Sunday or Wednesday. Kitty: Back when they had that forty nine cent hamburger day? Emma: No, it was usually good times to smoke crack. (Cuts to Alice's apartment, as Alice and Chad are sitting at the dining room table eating chicken Alfredo on dishes while sitting) Alice: So I hope you don't mind the microwaveable chicken Alfredo, I'm not much of a cook. Chad: It's fine, I can't Cooke either. Alice: But hey, at least I got us some wine. (Opens a bottle of purple wine and pours herself and Chad a glass) Cheers to our third date. (Lifts her wine glass up to her face) Chad: (Lifts his wine glass) Cheers to that. (They clink their glasses and sip on their own glasses) So yeah, it's our third date, got anything special or something? Alice: Well, usually that's the time where we, well, have sex for the first time. Chad: (Slightly surprised) Oh, so there's a rule to when you should have sex then. Alice: Yeah, I don't want to put any pressure on you, but that's kinda of why I wanted to set up this dinner before hand, so that way, it well count as a date. Chad: Look, I'm willing to have sex with you, but the question is, if you think your ready, I mean, this sounds like it's your first time going by this whole setup. Alice: No, (Shakes her head briefly) it's not that, it's just that it's been a while since I've done this setup for dating. Chad: Okay, then how about I make this interesting. Alice: How? (Cuts to Chad thrusting on Alice in her bed with only the camera focusing on their sweaty faces and them moaning) Alice: (Moaning) Wow, you got some skills! (Chad nods briefly as it cuts to Thomas and Molly sitting at the end of his bed in his bedroom) Thomas: (Sighs and looks at Molly) You ready for this Mol? Molly: Yeah, totally, I mean, this really is my first time with guy. Thomas: What about when you were a sex slave for Mr. Black? Molly: I was, but I never did anything like sucked someone's Dick or let them go deep in my pussy. Thomas: Well then, saying that helps for sure. Molly: Come on, when can do this. Thomas: Yeah, I mean, I don't do this often like Simon, so don't expect it to be like that shit you did with Veronica. Molly: But there's a difference with this, and that difference is that we care about each other equally. Thomas: Okay, let's do this. (Thomas and Molly slowly move their heads toward each other and start to awkwardly kiss each other slowly with their eyes closed) Is this what you do when starting to have sex? Molly: Not like this. (The two continue to kiss and then lay down on the bed together as it cuts to Alice and Chad having sex doggy style with the camera only showing her face, bare shoulders, and Chad's upper chest and face) Alice: (Moaning) Oh yes, keep doing that shit! Chad: (Panting) That's what you want! (Chad continues to thrust into Alice as it cuts to Emma and Kitty at the beach watching the waves hitting the shore each of them drinking a beer bottle) Emma: Man, it's been a while since I've had beer. Kitty: Oh, before we go. (Hands Emma a mint piece of candy) You should take that in case they suspect us of drinking alcohol. Emma: Good idea. (Emma chugs the rest of her beer bottle as she throws the bottle into the ocean and puts the mint candy in her mouth) Kitty: So that was a neat night. Emma: Neat? Who the fuck says neat anymore you sound like a hipster. (The both lightly laugh and continue to watch the ocean as it cuts to Alice naked on top of Chad's naked body as the camera only shows their sweaty faces, moaning) Alice: (Panting) You still wanna go out with me? Chad: (Panting) Yeah, I like you a lot. Alice: (Blushes) Really? Chad: Of course. (The two kiss each other as it cuts Thomas and Molly in Thomas' bed under the sheet covering their chests and they are looking up to the camera above them) Molly: Well that was different. Thomas: Different as in? Molly: Well... Thomas: (Faceplams) Oh god, it was not good was it? Molly: No, (Scoots over to Thomas on the bed) I mean it's different for me to have sex with a guy, that doesn't mean it will get worse, If we do this more, it will get better for us. Thomas: Really? Cause most of the time, I'm only decent in bed from what I heard. Molly: Okay, maybe this will make you feel better. (Puts her hands under the sheets where Thomas crotch is, and gives him a handjob with her hand motions shown over covers) Thomas: (Moaning) Oh wow, this is a first for a girl to do for me. (Molly smiles as it cuts to Emma and Kitty arriving at the rehab house with Emma very sleepy and Kitty carries Emma by her right shoulder) Emma: (Yawning) That was fun, now I need some sleep. (They open the front door as they see the sun slightly rising and Emma opens her bedroom door and goes inside) Emma: (To Kitty) Goodnight. Kitty: Goodnight, see you in a couple hours. (Emma closes her bedroom door while inside as it cuts to Simon asleep on the dance floor with beer bottles surrounding him and he is wearing nothing but a thong and sneakers, as Michael picks up the bottles around Simon and lightly kicks Simon's stomach) Michael: Hey dude, wake up your birthday's over. (Simon wakes up and has a rough voice and slowly gets up) Simon: (Rough voice) What happened last night? Michael: Well, you drank up half our inventory, stole Pink's bra and got punched in the face by her husband Blue, and then ran around the place in nothing but a thong. Simon: (Yawns) Oh man, can't wait until next year, maybe I'll steal a tiger! Michael: (Faceplams) Please don't, you won't be twenty eight forever. Simon: Oh bullshit, I'll still be partying even when my grave is buried. Michael: Let's hope it isn't soon. Created by AndrewBrauer Written by AndrewBrauer '-Lightshow Episode 23-' Trivia *We learn that Simon's birthday is September 2nd, 1986. *Although in But I... that Blink was his current age, in this episode, Blink wasn't born for another month yet, so the episode But I... will be updated so that this will make sense. *The first time Thomas and Molly have sex, along with the announcement of Alice and Chad being together. Category:Episodes Category:Lightshow